Gay and straight guy relationship
AsI think back on the past 24 years of providing couples counseling for gay male relationships, I sometimes get asked what the differences are that I see (in general) in gay male relationships that are (again, in general), different from linear relationships.
I offer these thoughts to both unattached and coupled gay men, based on my perspective of what I’ve seen through the years. My experiences and observations as a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist might differ from other gay men, and even other gay male therapists, and we always have to be mindful of not indulging in unfair assumptions, stereotypes, or even prejudices. But since making a relationship serve (which I define, in part, as the relationship’s level of satisfaction for each partner and in its overall longevity and subjective “quality” for each partner) is at least in part based on a skills-building process, skills that I believe are required for a lgbtq+ male relationship to both endure (quantity) and thrive (quality). These are the issues that come up repeatedly in couples counseling sessions:
1. Money– Same-sex attracted m
By Karen Blair, Ph.D., and Trent University Students Laura Orchard and Bre O'Handley
“We fell into each other’s arms because of our similarities in our career and because of our age and because we fond the same sort of things.” This quote could quite likely be the beginning of a wonderful romance story, but instead, it is a quote about friendship delivered toThe Huffington Post by Sir Ian McKellen about his decade’s long friendship with Sir Patrick Stewart.
The two men first came to know each other well on the set of the first X-Men production in , and although the duo played adversaries on the silver screen, offscreen, they were developing a near friendship. On the set, the two men had adjoining trailers, where they spent more period getting to realize each other than in front of the camera. By the end of filming, they had discovered how much they had in common, and to this day, they share one of Hollywood’s most well-known friendships.
Both actors are often photographed together doing mundane things, such as walking a boardwalk while deep in conversation. Perhaps one of the reaso
What Gay Men Should Expect in a Relationship
Some gay men insert up with a lot in their relationships. Their long-term partners will aggressively flirt with other men in front of them, go home with a guy from the bar without any forewarning, sleep with ex-lovers without gaining consent from their current lover, or brag to their current boyfriends about the quality of their sex with strangers. Ouch.
Here&#;s what I find most concerning. Some gay men don&#;t feel they have a right to be upset about these behaviors. They&#;ll ask me why they feel so jealous and how can I help them let go of their bitterness . They think that the male lover community believes in sexual liberty and it isn&#;t cool or manly to object to their partner&#;s sexual behavior.
In other words, they feel shame for experiencing hurt by the actions of their long-term partners.
Heterosexual couples acquire plenty of social support for treating their partners with respect when it comes to sex. Outrage is the typical social response when friends are told about poor relationship behavior among straight people. When gay men tell
I recently finished reading Dr. Robert Garfield’s terrific modern book, Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Authority of Friendship, and last week participated in a joint interview with him by Dr. Dan Gottlieb on WHYY (National Common Radio) in Philadelphia. This all got me thinking about my own friendships and those of my gay male clients. The bonds between gay men and straight women contain been written about and featured in popular media (i.e. Sex in the City, Will and Grace), though a lot less has been said about how gay and direct men recognize and negotiate the distinct challenges, complications, and rewards of their friendships.
Source: istock
According to Garfield, among the many obstacles to male-male platonic affection, fear of homosexuality looms large. Straight men fret that if they find too close, others will see them as gay; which in their minds means feminine (horrors!), feeble, and perverted. Perhaps even scarier is that their emotional connections will somehow morph into sexual attraction. Interestingly, in the U.S., before there was such a thing as a gay identit